Alice in Chains are an Epic Grunge band formed in some place called Seattle in 1987 by guitarist and songwriter Jerry Cantrell and original lead vocalist Layne Staley. The initial lineup was rounded out by drummer Sean Kinney, and bassist Mike Starr.

It's so epic, only one grunge band in history (Soundgarden) has ever gone as epic. Since they're formation, Alice in Chains has released four studio albums, three EPs, two live albums, four compilations, two DVDs, 648 T-Shirts, 18 YouTube videos, 1 WikiLol article, over 800 billion fans (Including humans), 5 prostitution agencies, 4 murders, 80 drugs sold, 20 years in prison, and finally death by electrocution on the angry chair. The band is known for its orgasmic vocal style of Layne Staley, which sounds like fucking epicness. AiC rose to international fame as part of the grunge movement of the early 1990s, along with Strawberry Jam, and the epic Soundgarden. And no, people, Nirvana is NOT grunge.

The band was extremely succsessfull; even Beavis and Butt-head, the two best Heavy Metal critics, spared AiC's Them Bones as "The coolest video I've seen in my life". In 1992 the band released their album Dirt which changed the ears of all it's listeners and the definition of music. Another band, Godsmack, took their name from an AiC song, and then tried to make exact copies of AiC songs and take the credit. They failed. Miserably


The band was formed when Layne Staley met Jerry Cantrell and created a band of epicness. Their first album, Facelift, was released, and became a major success. It was extremely ironic, considering We Die Young played on the U.A.C. Radios while Demons clawed them to death, Man In The Box, which is about censorship, and actually got censored it's self, and It Ain't Like That, although the song is indeed like that.

The success ended up with Dirt; their most epic album to date. Although most of the album's songs are about Heroin addiction (Junkhead, Godsmack, Dirt, Hate to Feel and Angry Chair), not all of them are. Them Bones is about death, which they sang after accidently blowing up the Barrels o' Fun. Sickman is... Fucked up. Just fucked up. Nothing else to say. And if you don't think they're epic enough, listen to this, bitch.

Then came Jar Of Flies and Alice in Chains. Listen to them. I can't just describe them all to you. Then, Layne Staley passed away, exactly on the same day 10 years before this article was written, rumoured to be after combining stimulant and depressant drugs. Of course, those rumours are false; Layne died when he and Chris Cornell (Soundgarden's lead singer) tried to collaborate. The entire world died of epicness, and so Layne Staley had to sacrafice himself to keep the entire world alive. AiC now no longer exists. If anyone tells you that they replaced Staley with a new lead singer, just ignore them. I'll deal with them later...

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